Damn It All to Hell

Chapter 9

‘Can I buy you a drink?’

“I’d love that.”

‘What do you want?’

“Surprise me.”

Surprise her. Aw, man, now I have to make a decision. I’m not that creative. What if I pick something she doesn’t like? What if I pick something that makes her sick? There has to be something she likes more than other things. I don’t even know if she likes beer or mixed drinks. Why can’t she just pick her own damn drink and come home with me? We should just skip all this stupid bullshit.

“Actually, how ‘bout a gin and tonic?”

See? That wasn’t so hard, was it? Maybe she’s coming to her senses. This bartender takes forever. Doesn’t he know people are trying to get laid here? He looks like he can’t find the gin. It’s a bar, how hard can it be? There you go. Uh-huh, now tonic...oh, Lord, he can’t find the tonic either. This shithead needs to speed it up before I come back there and beat his ass. ‘Hey, can you hurry it up a little?’ Some people can be so obnoxious.

This chick is fucking hot. I can’t remember if I asked her what her name is or not. I don’t think I did. Shit. I never pay attention when I ask people their names. I always ask to be polite, but then I don’t even listen when they respond. Then I have to ask them ten more times. It’s not that I’m bad with names, it’s just that I don’t listen to them when they tell me.

Ah, finally. I can’t believe I actually left the bartender a tip. Now, where’s that hot chick? Oh, there she is...

‘Here you go.’

“Thanks.”

‘I don’t think I got your name.’

“It’s Malana.”

‘Nice to meet you, Malana.’ Nice boots, wanna fuck? Come home with me now and we’ll have a great time away from this crappy crowded bar with the slow bartender and the lousy music.

“Likewise.”

Likewise? What? She sounds like she was just introduced to me at a business function. Likewise? What, is she trying to be all sophisticated? Well, at least she smiled. Maybe she’s nervous. That must be it. Why wouldn’t she be intimidated by me? I’m a strong-willed, attractive man. Women are so easily intimidated.

I wonder where her friend went with Edan? That was a really fucked up thing for him to do. That’s not really like him. Well, good for him. Maybe my good habits are starting to wear off on him a little bit. ‘Where’d your friend go?’

“Didn’t she go with your friend?”

‘Yeah, but do you know where they headed?’

“She said they were going dancing.”

‘There’s dancing here. Why’d they leave?’

“Who the hell knows?”

That’s fucked up. The girl’s probably fucked in the head. Any normal girl would’ve just suggested they go to his place, not somewhere else to go dancing. Well, at least she was cute. He can’t totally screw things up. I can’t wait to hear the story tomorrow.

Okay, I’m tired of the small talk already. ‘Did you come here with anyone else?’

“No, just Trista.”

Trista? That’s an odd name. Where have I heard that name before?...Hey, isn’t that the name of the girl...’Your friend’s name is Trista?’

“Yup. Your friend’s name is Edan, right?”

‘Yeah.’ What, is she trying to make me look bad now? She’s pointing out the fact that she remembered my friend’s name, when I forgot her friend’s name. This can’t be a good sign.

“Trista was talking about him earlier today. Apparently, they met earlier at a coffee shop or something.”

So it is her. And here I thought I was doing him a favor by finding him a girl, but he already knew her. He’s always one step ahead of me.

“So, what do you wanna do?”

Fuck? How’s that sound? Let’s go to my apartment and have wild, passionate sex and then drink ourselves sober. ‘I don’t know, what do you wanna do?’

“Let’s drink a little more here and then go to your place.”

This is my kind of girl. ‘Whatever you want.’