Damn It All to Hell

Chapter 5

“You met a girl?”

‘Yeah.’

“What’s her name?”

‘Trista.’

“Did you fuck her?”

‘No, I didn’t fuck her!’

“Why not?”

‘This girl is different.’

“Yeah, right.”

‘She is!’

“Alright, how?”

‘I’m telling you, man, this girl is different.’

“How is she different?”

‘I don’t know. I can just tell.’

“You can just tell.”

‘Yeah.’

“And you can tell...how?”

‘I don’t know, it’s like when I looked in her eyes, I didn’t just see a girl. I saw something else.’

“Something else. What, is she, like, possessed or something?”

‘Shut the fuck up. She’s just different. Something about that girl reminds me of me.’

“Dude, no one’s like you -- especially no chick. Where’d you meet her?”

‘On the street.’

“You’re useless, you know that? Where on the street?”

‘Down by the bakery.’

“Of course. Did you buy her a mochaccino?”

‘Yes, but that has nothing to do...’

“And you didn’t fuck her?”

‘I don’t fuck every girl I meet, fuckhead! Not everyone’s like you.’

“Hey, fuck you!”

‘Fuck you.’ This asshole thinks he knows what the hell is going on. He doesn’t have a fucking clue.

“I wanna meet her.”

‘What?’

“I wanna meet her.”

‘Why?’

“So I can fuck her.”

That’s it: I’m outta here. After I leave, he’s gonna realize he fucked up, and he’s gonna follow me down the street. ‘Go fuck yourself, asshole.’

Now that was a convincingly dramatic exit. I stood up, knocked a stack of books off his bookshelf, and walked out with a loud slamming of the door. It probably got my point across quite effectively. What a dumbass. I can’t believe he has the gall to think he knows anything about life. That fucker doesn’t know shit.

Damn, it’s cold. Where the hell am I gonna go? Oh, I’ll just wander slowly down the street till dumbass comes and finds me. He’ll know where to go.

I need a smoke. Fuck, I’m out. There’s a convenience store around here somewhere, isn’t there? Well, not that way. Nope, it’s not that way, either. Now, where the hell is that damn store? Oh, even better....

‘Hey! Can I bum a smoke?’

“Ah, why the hell not?”

People are so cool. Smokers of the world, unite! It never fails to amaze me how you can just ask anyone with a cigarette hanging out of their mouth if you can bum a smoke, and they’ll almost always say yes. Hm...menthols...these are great. I already feel better. Menthol is so smooth. When you breathe it in with the cold winter air, you taste Christmastime. It’s like eating a candy cane, only it calms your nerves better.

“Hey, gimme one?”

‘Sorry, dude, I just...oh, it’s you.’

“Were you expecting someone else?”

No. I knew you were gonna follow me. You always do, dumbass. ‘I wasn’t expecting anyone. The only friend I have just pissed me off big time.’

“Come on, I’ll buy you a drink.”

Well, okay. A drink is always the acceptable form of apology. He should piss me off more often. Where should we go? It’s probably between Top of the Triangle, the bar with the amazing view of the city and the menu that’s way too expensive for us, or Whiskey Dick’s, the bar with the cheap drinks and the hot girls. I don’t think either of us is in the mood to pretend to be pretentious tonight, so it’s probably going to be the second choice. Besides, Whiskey’s is closer to my car. Damn, it’s cold. ‘Let’s take a cab.’

“What?”

‘It’s too cold to walk. Let’s take a cab.’

“Did we decide where we’re going again without discussing it with me?”

Oh, yeah. I always forget that he can’t hear what’s going on in my head. ‘You’re not rolling in cash right now, are you?’

“Nope. Whiskey’s it is.”

I knew he’d agree with me. Now we just have to find a cab. The streets around here are so strange. They don’t make any sense at all. It’s not like Chicago, where all the streets are grid-like and easy to follow. These streets take you everywhere except where you want to go. I like them, though. In the wintertime, they get all glossed over from the snow and ice, and they constantly look wet. They’re pretty, but they’re kind of slippery. The lights shine off them in a starlight effect that makes everything seem mystical. It makes everything seem like it’s a dream, removed from time somehow. Where the hell are all the cabs? It’s not like Gavin lives in the busiest part of town or anything, but we aren’t that far from the city. Damn, it’s cold.

It’s so quiet. I can’t hear any people or birds or cars...I can’t even hear any of the rats running around in the sewers -- nothing. Where the hell did everything go? The world doesn’t stop just because it’s cold and wintry outside. Or maybe it does. Maybe the world has ceased spinning on its axis because I have finally, after all these years of searching, found someone like me. I need to see her again.

“Edan! Get your ass over here! I see a cab!”